A QUICK NOTE
This article won’t be for everyone. It may be long to some, boring to others. But to a select few, I wish this to be the motivation you were looking for to change your life. This post is for you. ♥
MY STORY
I couldn’t fully articulate the miracle and transformation self-identity gave me if I didn’t give a brief synopsis of who I am and what my story is.
I grew up in an extremely small town (think population 1,500 people). As a child, I was super creative, musically inclined and saw the beauty in everything. Even as a kid, I loved architecture, graphic design and played every instrument I could get my hands on.
Elementary school was a terrible time for me - the worst years of my life. While I always had friends, I was frequently bullied and had extremely low self confidence. By the time I was in high school, I had left the bullying group but still had a very hard time speaking up for myself and sought after romantic relationships looking for validation.
Throughout my 20’s I would date the same person in a different form - always someone who didn’t value me and wanted to keep me small. I married that person thinking this was the best I’d ever do. That relationship failed after eight years, just for me to enter the most toxic relationship of my life. I drank a lot during that time to numb myself from reality.
Once that relationship blew up in flames, I vowed to do the opposite of what I’d done and simply wanted someone who was kind. While I found someone kind, we lacked chemistry. We had a daughter together and while I’ll never regret that relationship, he never wanted me to evolve and in that way, I was held back for the five-ish years we were together.
THE FREQUENCY SHIFT
I began getting into spirituality after I had my daughter. I grew up with a woo-woo mom, so this wasn’t totally foreign to me but it was the first time I used spirituality as a lifeline when I emotionally couldn’t accept my reality.
After having my daughter, I lost who I was - or who I thought I was. I struggled to lose the baby weight, I struggled to find happiness outside of my daughter and no longer knew who the person staring back at me in the mirror was. My relationship was unsatisfying, my closest friends lived hours away and the creativity I once oozed, no longer lived inside me.
I began meditating for the first time in my life after becoming a mom. I used various apps on my phone, and eventually put my toe in the spiritual pond attending sound baths.
Simultaneously, I craved friendship and started making new friends using Bumble BFF. I started shifting my energy bit-by-bit, and made a really AMAZING group of friends that are now my core friend group in Orange County.
CLOSE, BUT NOT QUITE THERE
Like many people getting into self-identity and manifestation work, I felt better but wasn’t seeing the type of change I desired. I had made some lifelong friends, but I still couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. You just know when your reflection is not an active representation of who you actually are.
Emotionally I felt an agonizing sense of FOMO (fear of missing out). I felt there was an entire lifeline or timeline that I had the option to step into that would be more fulfilling. Knowing that, the fear of staying the same became more daunting than the fear of change itself.
THE STEP-BY-STEP MANUAL FOR THE IDENTITY SHIFT
There are a million paths you can take to get to the same result. This is me sharing my path…. which I do believe is a fairly efficient one given how quickly I transformed. I hope this helps give you the framework if you’re ready for your own transformation. ♥
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
This sounds like a silly question, but seriously. Sit down with a journal (a fresh notebook and pen will make this little ceremony feel extra special) and write “WHO AM I?”
Answer this question honestly, and not the version you’re okay with someone else reading. My answer at this time looked like “I’m a burned out new mom who feels lonely, ugly, fat and unloved. I’ve lost my ambition and creativity. I feel like a loser. I feel washed up. I have no purpose other than to be a mom and give my energy to a partner that doesn’t care about my happiness.”
Then write this prompt on a fresh page - “WHO DO I WANT TO BE?”. Again, this can be embarrassing to answer truthfully. Get over that fear. Write the most honest, vivid picture of who you want to be. The answer around this time for me was “I want to feel alive and full of energy. I want to be a hot mom. <like I said, this can feel embarrassing to write but do it anyway> I want longer, thicker hair. I want smoother skin. I want to embody someone who takes care of themselves both physically and mentally. I want to be someone who reads consistently. I want to be more patient and easy going. I want to be softer and more feminine.”
VISUALIZATION
Visualization was the single most important step I took to manifesting my new existence. It continues to be a daily practice for me because it is that effective.
We are going to use Pinterest to start this. I am a BIG believer that seeing what you want helps you feel the feelings of already having what you want, and therefore draws it to you so much faster.
The Identity Board
Start a secret board on Pinterest and call it “Identity”…. add a cute little emoji too. Next you are going to spend 1-3 hours pinning everything you love to this board. We are talking a signature makeup style, clothing style, niche jewelry you like, photos of a specific vibe another person may have, hairstyles, a car you’re obsessed with, a refrigerator photo of the food you wish to consume, a girl meditating (if you’re trying to meditate by routine), a girl painting (if you wish to be more creative), etc.
When I say everything you love, I mean things that give you that feeling….. you know that feeling… the feeling that lights you up (that’s called alignment, my friend.)
This phase I’ve dubbed as the “identify as an artist” phase. Self identity work is really just accepting yourself as the artist of your reality. You get to craft and define yourself as whomever you want.
The Manifestation Board
This could be defined as just a vision board and in some regards, it is. However, I like to think this project is a bit more in depth than your average vision board.
What does the juiciest, most vibrant life look like to you? I do believe your board should stay mostly private, but some things that have consistently been on mine was feeling more fit and healthy, having a group of loyal girl friends, a deep and fulfilling romantic relationship, traveling all over the world, a specific lifestyle I wish (and now do) embody, etc. Both my Identity and Manifestation Boards sit around 150 pins, as you want to be thorough enough to assist in the visualization process.
A very optional step…
This will be a controversial, optional step and I honestly rarely do it but it can be helpful in certain scenarios.
If you’re having a particularly hard time feeling the feeling of having something based on Pinterest photo because it feels so far from your current reality, I’ve used AI a couple times to modify an existing photo to make it look like it was for me.
An example could be that you wish to make a toned body your reality but you can’t for the life of you make that feel real, you could use AI to modify a photo of you to having a toned body and then save it in your manifestation board.
MEDITATION (if you just “can’t”, try a different method listed here!)
Now that you’ve created your portfolio of visualization materials, let’s start the embodiment process.
You want to aim to meditate in the morning before your day begins and again at the end of your day right before you go to sleep. This will help you get into the frequency for the day and then again in your subconscious before bed.
Start by reviewing both your identity and manifestation boards right before meditation. The idea is that you want to feel that you already have these things.
Then begin to meditate anywhere from 5 minutes to longer. Yes, 5 minutes is fine!
Meditation Methods
When I first got into meditating, I used what is now called the “Activations” app. It was the perfect way to get into the right frequency. As you grow and evolve in this process, your methods may shift. This is normal.
I got really into testing out other meditations. I used the app “Open” for a bit which aesthetically I loved.
I also even used some free YouTube meditations. This one by Bob Proctor continues to be one of my favorite guided meditations.
Currently, my favorite method of meditating is listening to Dreamy Forest Music or 528 Hz Music on Spotify.
I also really enjoy meditating with my Lumenate Nova which is extremely extra and totally not necessary. However, if you tend to be unable to quiet down your thoughts (which is normal), this can assist with slowing down the mental chatter. The Lumenate Nova is an eye mask that uses flickering lights the simulate the effects of psychedelics without being on any substance.
MENTALITY SHIFT
This can be the trickiest part of the manifestation and identity shift work, you must implement embodying what you want while out in your daily life. It’s a very mindful practice and it will take some time to build up an awareness so be gentle with yourself while you essentially remember to remember.
Let’s say you want to become more patient and easy-going (this was one of my goals). I would intentionally put myself in situations that would encourage me to go back to my old neural connections like going to the grocery store during a busy time of the day. I would normally get flustered and frustrated in those situations. But new Lacy? New Lacy, my truest self Lacy wouldn’t. I would consciously smile at strangers in the grocery store and invite them to cut in front of me in line. And you know what? Suddenly, I felt amazing and it would become a snowball effect in every part of my life.
Another example, I wanted to physically look more attractive and up level parts of myself I didn’t love. By this point, I had done enough inner work that I had compassion for my former self and truly could say I love myself, I felt okay with getting some cosmetic investments. I would tell myself, the person I am (never say “want to be”. We are embodying that person now, not later) invests in herself. It’s okay to put myself first today. Yes, this sounds vain (and in some regard, it is) but botox and lip filler were absolutely a part of my identity shift.
In my opinion, it is a spiritual practice to decorate your avatar. Our entire world is built upon aesthetics…. a clean home, flowers growing outside, art on our walls, basic hygiene, the snow on the mountains, the rain forest. We love things we find beautiful. Therefore, taking pride in our looks is a form of spirituality and self expression.
SHADOW WORK
This part can be quite daunting because it will require you to go deep inside parts of yourself that can be hard to look at. Sometimes we even suppress memories and this kind of work can pull it out for us to face.
Shadow work is essentially working through blocks that are formed by parts of yourself that you hide or judge because shame, anger, jealously, etc. Working through these parts of you allows you to find more inner peace, achieve goals and no longer self-sabotage.
I first learned about shadow work when I did the To Be Magnetic program for a year. I would complete guided meditations around shadow work as well as journaling. I had many breakthroughs during the meditations that would result in me crying. Sometimes I knew exactly why I was crying but other times I didn’t know why, but felt it was more of an emotional release.
You definitely don’t have to pay for a course to do shadow work. There are plenty of free resources online. You can search YouTube videos and websites with journal prompts. If you’d like me to expand further on this and provide journal prompts, let me know.
EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE
Once you’ve worked through this framework, I can promise you that you’ll experience some major changes in your life. Commit to being consistent for three months. You’ll never quit.
At this point, consider expanding your knowledge around manifestation, quantum physics and self-identity work. There are so many amazing books and leaders in this realm, you’re guaranteed to never get bored. There is always room for more growth.
The most transformative book I read was Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. He is a Russian Quantum Physicist. The book is translated from Russian, so expect a few odd translations/typos. However, the information in this book will blow your mind. It’s not a light read by any means (a solid 700+ pages) and no joke, took me about a year to read but the principles will have you approaching life from an entirely new perspective. I love it so much, I even gift it to friends who are open.
Another great book is Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza. This is a fabulous book that helps to expand your mind to the possibilities when one commits to their identity. You can heal from illness, change your perspective and achieve greatness. My one gripe about Dispenza’s work is that he tends to talk in circles. He can forget who his audience is by overcomplicating things specifically with his vocabulary and sentence formation. If you can get past that, the message behind his research is worthwhile.
The tools for expansion are truly endless. You can dabble in sound baths, reiki, more reading, therapy of all kinds, plant medicine, medicine cards, group meditation circles, daily affirmations, mindful positive self-talk, wellness rituals, etc.
This is a topic I could truly go on-and-on about and there is so much more to say. But for now, I hope this helped you.
About the Author //
Hi :) I’m Lacy, the face behind LALA LAND. I live in Orange County, CA. I’m a woo-woo loving creative, mom and believer in the power of self-identity work through spirituality. I changed my entire life a few years ago when I started taking identity work and manifestation seriously. I transformed myself physically, mentally and found myself through this work and creativity. I hope to inspire you to do the same. ♥
